Day ninety part two!

I'm going to hijack this blog for a minute to discuss something very important, a public service announcement if you will. Do not go see Mamma Mia: The Movie.

I went to see Mamma Mia: The Movie while in Miami. I generally love stuff that’s pretty trashy. And if seeing Meryl Streep sing ABBA for 90 minutes isn’t considered trashy, I don’t know what is. I saw the play on Broadway four years ago, and that combined with a promising cast seemed like a recipe for trash success.

Except, for most of the duration of the movie, I had an expression of pain, dumb shock, or complete puzzlement on my face. Actually, it probably would have been more entertaining to watch a recording of my reactions than it would be to watch the movie itself.

How did they screw something so fool-proof up so very much? Established musicals in general are pretty hard to screw up; as long as you have people with good voices, all the in-between stuff can pretty happily take a back seat.

Hell, I could probably watch a performance of Little Shop of Horrors by mute homeless people on a street corner, and still clap and cheer at the end. But Mamma Mia: The Movie was, just, it was past trash. Even it’s mother wouldn’t love it - which I would say would have to be the Broadway version.

Speaking of, maybe that would be a better option. Drop $2,500 on a flight to New York and a ticket to Mamma Mia on Broadway before you spend the $14-odd on a movie ticket for this. You’ll get much better value for your money.

Or better yet, just buy the soundtrack. It's like they took the movie recording and added a bunch of layers to make it sound better; one of my fave songs from the CD, when it started in the movie, had me thinking "Jeez, I can see why they left THIS off the soundtrack" before I realised what it was. Plus that way you don't have to see ridiculous sights like men doing synchronised line dancing in flippers and snorkels. Which I think was in the Broadway version too, but at least they made it feel right.

Mamma Mia has a great story. And it’s very cleverly done, the way all the ABBA songs fit into it. But everyone that worked on this film failed. From the cast to the director to the choreographer. In the words of the internet: “epic fail”.

Perhaps it's my exposure to it pre-movie though that has me so horrified at the movie version. People all through the cinema clapped when it finished, which I would have thought was BECAUSE it finished, if I hadn't overheard people discussing the film afterwards. People rarely clap in cinemas, unless it's like first-day screenings of a big movie.

I’m tempted to buy this on Blu-ray just to let it “accidentally” fall down the back of the DVD cabinet, safe in the knowledge that it wasn’t loved enough for anyone to ever go looking for it and realise it was missing in the first place. Plus that would save at least one other person for making the mistake of buying it.

One and a half stars:
Half a star for giving the post-storyline stuff at least *some* chutzpah,
Half for the still-fun interpretation of Does Your Mother Know, and
Half for the CD recording of Lay All Your Love On Me.

Meryl, Pierce, etc, almost take stars off. SOS was uncomfortable to sit through. I almost need to shower just to shake the dirty feeling I get remembering this movie in so much detail. *shudder*